I had a hugely fruitful start to 2017. Artistic and fulfilling opportunities seemed to seek me out with little to no work on my part, carrying me through to August when I premiered my first evening length work. Since August, however, things have seemed to slow down quite a bit. In addition, my decision to end my performance career with LA Contemporary Dance Company has left me in a state of transition with no consistest home base to ground or settle me. Of course, I haven't been without good fortune as the past few months have presented amazing opportunities for growth, introspection, questioning, and the exploration of new avenues for expression. Yet after what felt like a constant free flow of work and projects I would be lying if I said this period has been without disappointment, fear, or anxiety.
As we move closer to a new year, it is important for me to acknowledge this ebb and flow - the highs and lows of the creative cycle - while also finding ways to remain open to the possibilities that await (even when they don't exactly match a past version of success or happiness.) By turning the page on my career with LA Contemporary Dance Company, I have started a new chapter, disrupting the free stream of energy I had been riding, but igniting new streams of energy that are still in their infancy of propuslion. In his book How to be Alive: the Kind of Happiness that Helps the World, Colin Beaven writes "we are in the transition between what used to work in the past and what will hopefully work in the future [...] That might seem scary - that's in the nature of a quest too, - but it's also exciting."
I enjoy Beaven's use of the word "quest." While akin to the adage "it's the journey, not the destination", the idea of a quest invites a goal or purpose to be added to the equation. This idea allows me to find acceptance for the present moments, grattitude for the moments that brought me here, and patience for the moments that lie ahead. While in comparison to the first half of this year my current state may feel slow, in the scope of a long term quest I can recognize I'm right where I need to be.