In reflecting on my one night only performance event presented last week, the most concise summation of the evening is that it was a success. There were of course things that could have gone better. Details that slipped through the cracks or ideas that were axed due to the nature of time. Yet if I were to bullet point my main goals for the production, every one was met, and some exceeded expectation. I reflect on this not as a “humble brag” or “tooting of my own horn,” but to acknowledge the responsibility that comes with having the power and means to achieve ambitious goals.
I cannot take full credit for this success. So many hands and minds touched the work on its path toward presentation. The support I’ve been fortunate to receive financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually is not lost on me. I understand to have the freedom to pursue creative goals, with full abandon, and to have those goals be met with nothing but support is an immense and uncommon privilege. I also understand that I now have a strong track record of setting an intention and seeing it through to fruition. It’s exciting and energizing, but also daunting.
How do I take this knowledge, along with my long check list of privileges, to best serve? What’s the balance between service to my community and service to myself? Where do my abilities, experience and knowledge intersect with an expression the world needs? Though lofty and potentially unanswerable, these are some of the questions that fuel my current artistic investigations. While I’m sure at times I will miss the mark, or even offensively misbalance the values I claim to uphold, I believe to not integrate these questions wholeheartedly into my pursuits would be hugely and unforgivably irresponsible.